Maybe it's with a teacher you coach, an administrator, or a colleague. But we all reach a point where we know it's time for that conversation.
You know the one.
And whether it's because of the topic, the relationship we have (or don't) with the other person, the context it's happening in, our own tendencies (and the other person's, let's be real), or some combination of all of the above, we anticipate it might be a challenging one.
Being an instructional coach who is working towards educational justice, you will have to have these conversations. With practice and ongoing learning and reflection, we can become more skillful and confident in holding them. But no matter how many times we engage in challenging conversations, the first thing we have to take responsibility for is how we show up. We cannot engage thoughtfully if we don't get ourselves right first.
So, here are some questions that might help you prepare and reflect before having your next challenging conversation.
Preparing for Challenging Conversations: Questions for Reflection
About yourself
What makes this a challenging conversation for you?
What feelings are coming up?
What are the potential outcomes of having this conversation? Of not having it?
What is the issue, as you understand it?
How have you contributed to this challenge?
What is your request?
What, within your control, are your goals for this conversation? What are your hopes?
What values do you want to hold in this conversation?
About the the other person
How might the other person be experiencing this issue?
What values and strengths are they bringing to the table?
What might be driving their stance on this issue?
About the two of you
What shared purpose exists between the two of you when it comes to this challenge?
What information may be missing for each of you?
What power dynamics may be at play between the two of you?
About the conversation
How might you invite the person to this conversation (rather than ambushing them)?
How might you acknowledge intent while raising issues of impact?
How might you create room for the other person to think, process, and share?
How might you share your experience and request?
Where is there room for compromise?
What, if anything, is non-negotiable?
What if/then scenarios can you plan for?
Thinking about everything you need to get done to ensure a smooth and impactful instructional coaching cycle? Don't miss this FREE resource:
The Instructional Coaching Cycle Checklist
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